I realized today that I haven't actually updated my journal in more than a month, which is sad. So here I am trying to figure out what to talk about.

Now that the semi-cold weather has set in I am doing less photography (I like to be neither cold, nor wet) and so it is the time of year when my drawing and painting tends to pick up. So far I haven't done too much in this area as I am approaching my one year evaluation at work, at which time I am no longer in my probationary period I'm really looking forward to being considered "forever staff" and no longer having to have evaluations every three months. Less stress for me and more enjoyment at work.
I have some large canvases I plan on working on throughout the colder parts of the year when I tend to be stuck inside on the weekends. However I am finding large white devoid-of-all-colour canvases rather intimidating. I know it is a state of mind and I just need to push past it and get started but...

I'm also a terrible procrastinator...like...epic. I've researched and written entire papers in a single night. I've finished powerpoint presentations mere moments before they are due and given (rather good) oral presentations with no practice; fortunately for me (and any hapless partners I had in university) I am a decent public speaker.
Thus, sadly, I look at my canvases and my big empty drawing pad and think...I'll draw later when I feel like it...or "I'm not in the mood to paint, I'll wait until I'm ready"...

So my friends, my pencils remain sharpened, my paintbrushes remain dry and my tubes of paint stare at me in resignation...I shall get to it when I get to it...

I'm starting to work through the "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" book and workbook in a (potentially vain) attempt to move my drawing from child-like sketches and chicken scratch to something resembling a real live person. Again...procrastination has allowed me to read through the first few chapters, leaving all of the practice activities to be completed at a later date...I'll get to it, I promise! I hope at the very least to increase my confidence in drawing, even if my actual technique improves very little. And on that note, I'm off to have some sort of supper related food product. Enjoy your evenings and try not to be as epic of a procrastinator as I am!

I went to the farm this weekend and due to the insanely accurate internal clock of my boyfriend's middle son, I was up at around 7am. The man and I decided to go for a walk and due to the early hour spider webs were still intact and full of morning due glistening in the sunlight. A race began to get as many shots as possible before the sun dried all the dew making the webs damn near impossible to see. As you can see, despite a raging fear of spiders, I managed to get some decent shots. Most will end up as prints on my walls as my boyfriend was a big fan off all of the webs.

The last few pics are not of spiders or webs as I needed to get rid of the heebie jeebies I was experiencing, so enjoy

To everyone who has been faving as I've been uploading...thanks so very much for the support!

dA love to you all

Hey,

I used to love doing nude work but I am no longer doing it and haven't been for some time. I've put all of my nudes and most of my self-portraits into storage. It has nothing to do with the sharing option, though I've been following the issues through others' journals and news articles. I'm just not a nude model anymore and don't plan on being one for awhile. I still think it is absolutely okay, but I prefer to be behind the camera.

I'll try and explain:

I grew up in a household where school was THE most important thing and so, if I was not making what my parents considered good marks, I was not permitted to have outside interests. My teachers attempted to explain to my parents at parent/teacher nights that I was an exceptional student, very bright and was making very good marks for someone who had just started french immersion in gr. 7 ( I was making 80's by the way; by university standards those are A's). But because I had gotten 90's and hundreds all through elementary school (before I switched to french immersion) I simply wasn't applying myself and was expected to do better.
Even when I did better it was simply what was expected and although I had nearly killed myself attempting to get those 90's and had no life, well, that was what you had to do to succeed.

I appreciate what my parents were attempting to instill in me...the desire to do well and succeed academically and therefore in life. However, their extreme attitudes and punishments skewed my priorities, leaving me with the ingrained belief that I HAD to do well or they would cease to love me. This lead to panic attacks, then to generalized anxiety disorder and finally, to severe depression coupled with crippling anxiety.

After years of therapy, medications and moving out of my parent's house I am now at a place of balance in my life. I told you that story to put everything into context.

I wasn't permitted to explore my artisitc side while in my parents' house despite the fact that my mother has tried and loved everything from tole-painting to scrapbooking. I was permitted to write poetry and that was all.
Thus I never felt I was particularly artistic. I loved art, but figured I could never produce it.
When I started to model nude I considered it my way of contributing to the art community. And it was, but now I'm fully exploring any and all creative avenues that come my way and so I am freer than I have been in a long time. Modeling nude was like sticking my toes in the water to test the temperature. Now I've jumped right in and I'm no longer afraid!

I'm not saying I might not come back to nude modeling...I very well might. But right now my energies are focused on other things and so it's simply not in the cards.

There you have it friends, a long winded and rather boring explanation as to why you can't find my nudes anymore Blessed be...

Hey all,

Sorry for disappearing on you but unfortunately I was moving to a new apartment and my interwebs had to wait until today to be hooked up
The new apartment is bigger, with more windows, an extra bedroom, a patio and a huge bathroom I love the extra space and am enjoying putting up more photographs, paintings and such.

In other news,

I am on vacation this week For the next 3 days I plan on being a complete vegetable. After that I am hoping to finish the other 2 paintings in my goddess series, get some more frams so I can hang more photographs and generally fine tune the new place.

I need some advice. My goddess paintings are done on canvas boards as opposed to stretched canvas (canvas boards are cheaper). I want to hang the three goddesses just above my couch but have no clue how to go about doing so? Should I get them framed? Glue a little picture hook on the back with super glue? Any better ideas? I want them to be nicely displayed but I also don't have unlimited income here so any ideas would be greatly appreciated

On that note, I'm off to find photos to put up here and to surf the web...I have missed the internet so so much!

xo

Hey all you watchers who follow me...or for those of you stopping in for the first time welcome.

Prints are now available on many of my better nature photographs. The next gorgeous day we have here (preferably one I am not working) I will head to our local public gardens and get some more shots.

Anyway all...just thought I'd throw that new information out there. Love!